The dictionary defines as such...
1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
4. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement: friends of the clean air movement.
5. Friend A member of the Society of Friends; a Quaker.
Accurate by some standards, but perhaps missing a number 6. Interaction in real life. Of all that the dictionary defines, albeit extremely vague, only the first list (number 1) would I consider a friend. The rest ( numbers 2 to 5) have the opportunity to become friends but are not in my opinion really even close to what a true friend is.
Surely and to great credit for many we live in a world of Social Networking via Technology. Events in the present, as occurred in Egypt, may not have reached full potential without it. I don't have any friends in Egypt. In this case Social Networking became a tool of support for a movement, not necessarily Social Networking as it was intended. The result, however, was astonishing.
Social networking has also brought us advertising. Accounts on these sites created for the sole purpose of promoting businesses and their products. Effective, but not exactly social so far as reconnecting with old friends. That said, one cannot deny that it works all the same for the benefit of those using these sites in that manner. I have no problem there either.
Oh, and let us dare not forget the bid daddy on the block. The applications and and gaming element. Very effective for those who connect and equally for the profit of the companies engaged.
To all this I have no problem.
Where my problem lies is in the area of FRIENDS? To call something a "Social network" is a huge distinction from a Business network ( eg. LinkedIn.com). It was always my thought that friends, as the definition states, are the true intention of Social Networking. Sure, people meet, some fall in love and some are deluded all by way of these sites. Its a good and a bad, but no harm no foul. Let each do as they please.
I was always one to believe the a friend was someone with whom interaction was the key. Sure friends drift apart and perhaps reconnect on these sites which is amazing. Others just add one to a list, without discussion of any kind, and claim they are your friend. The old saying "friends come and go" is true in my opinion. In the definition above I take one exception. A friend is not an "acquaintance". That is someone you may have contact with online or off, but is not a friend in my personal experience.
A friend is someone we share our lives, for good and ill. We rely on them and they in turn rely on us. We share things no one else knows. They are close and sometimes closer than even our family. They know things about us no one else would. I doubt that would apply to an acquaintance.
Then there is the factor of time. Here comes my cynicism...
To honestly thing that a person you once new in the way I just described as a "friend" after many years to me is ludicrous. People change, life changes. We grow, marry, divorce, have kids and so on. If we were in touch during these phases and shared these moments then friendships would be valid. But when enough time ticks on by and we honestly think our former "friends" are the same people after time passes is delusional to me. If you are not witness to events in their lives they slide into the acquaintanceship category. I have not trouble with acquaintances, but they are not friends.
There is no point to this post other than to say that if you haven't been my definition of a friend. You don't belong on my list on a Social Network. At least in as a friend. High School was a long time ago. Everyone has moved on. Thankfully the sites are now putting up lists you can add people too. How ingenious. Obviously they recognize that just having a list of "Friends" no longer applies.
So to my friends, you remain. I have not yet, at least on Facebook created an acquaintance list. So I guess that will the next thing I do. I suspect most of those on my "friend" list will end up there.
Funny how things change. I remember when social networking began it had but one purpose. No longer. Frankly its a good thing. However, it does force us to identify where those we let into our lives must belong.
Kind of like real life in a odd sort of way. There is humour in that.
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